


I Promise

by BANANNA527



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, M/M, Minor Character Death, tiny bit of smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-05 03:41:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12182211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BANANNA527/pseuds/BANANNA527
Summary: Growing up, Kyungsoo has a problem with the monster under his bed. His best friend, Yifan promises to protect Kyungsoo from the monster by marrying him. Ten years later, Kyungsoo's back, and he needs Yifan more than ever.





	I Promise

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt #46
> 
> Ohhhh my god, this is my first fest, and I'm so nervous. I hope I did the prompt justice. I'll put more notes about the story at the end just because I don't want to spoil anything <.< Thank you so much to the mods for organizing this fest and giving a much needed extension. I'm so excited to read everyone's fics for this fest. I'm so glad I stuck with this to the end :)

Do Kyungsoo had always known that he would have to return to his childhood home sometime or another. One could say that he had unfinished business there. However, he would have liked his return to be under a different circumstance, for having the first news he heard after graduating university be that of his grandmother’s passing is something that the young man wished no one had to hear.

To say that his grandmother’s death was a hard blow would be more than an understatement. Being the result of an unwanted pregnancy, Kyungsoo was raised by his grandmother. He never knew his mother, but having his grandmother around made him grow up not really caring that his family wasn’t like everyone else’s. It was thanks to his grandmother that Kyungsoo was able to have a life; it was thanks to her that he grew up into the young man he knew even his absentee mother would’ve been proud of. She was a miracle worker in her grandson’s eyes, but for as many things she could do, there was one thing she was never able to do for her grandson. Growing up, Kyungsoo was tormented by a monster. Not some metaphorical fear or insecurity, but a real, living, breathing monster that lived under his bed.

He doesn’t remember when it all started, but Kyungsoo remembers begging his grandmother to keep the door open and the light in the hallway on as he slept. He remembers fearing the dark because when the lights went out, the floorboards would creak. And when the floorboards creaked, Kyungsoo could feel the monster move from underneath his bed. And when Kyungsoo felt the monster, he knew that no sleep would come to him that night. He would try hiding under the blanket, but that wouldn’t take away the sounds. He tried covering his ears, but the beast’s breath still managed to tickle the back of his neck.

Kyungsoo’s nighttime visitor caused him to be very skittish growing up. Sudden noise and movement caught in his peripheral vision terrified him. His easily frightened nature caused him to be shy, and he tended to keep to himself because of it. This personality combined with his large eyes and constantly furrowed brows caused the other kids to fear Kyungsoo as much as he did them. His classmates called him many names, but the one that they eventually decided on was “demon boy.” Needless to say, this did nothing for Kyungsoo’s self esteem as a kid and he ended up spending much of his early childhood wandering around the park by himself.

 

It wasn’t until he was ten years old when Kyungsoo made his first friend. He was sitting at table in the park watching the other kids play when a voice startled him.

“If you keep glaring at them like that they’ll pick a fight with you.”

After jumping from his seat with his hand placed over his chest in shock, Kyungsoo looked up at the person behind the voice. His eyes went wide as he took in the stranger. The boy was definitely taller, stronger, and older than him by at least a year or two. Like Kyungsoo, he had dark brows that seemed to furrow naturally, but unlike Kyungsoo, his scrutinizing glare seemed constant. Terrified of being beaten up by the boy, Kyungsoo sputtered a response.

“I-it’s not like that!” He attempted to avoid eye contact as he continued, “It’s my eyesight…” Kyungsoo could see the boy tilt his head in curiosity, “The eye-doctor says I have an astigmatism, so I can’t see very well.” He mumbled the last part in shame as he lowered his head. “We can’t afford glasses,” Kyungsoo looked at his sneakers before looking back up at the stranger, “But when I squint I can see better.”

Much to his surprise, the stranger seemed to accept Kyungsoo’s explanation. The boy sat at the table across from Kyungsoo giving him nothing but a nod in response. Not knowing what to do, Kyungsoo did what his Grandmother taught him to do when meeting new people.

“My name’s Kyungsoo,” he said, attempting to look the stranger in the eyes.

At first, the stranger raised his brows at him, but after a moment, he nodded again and responded, “Yifan.”

After that, neither of them spoke for what felt like an eternity. Their silence broken by a ball that had rolled to their table, stopping at Kyungsoo’s feet. Kyungsoo looked down at the ball and then over from the direction it came from. He saw a group of kids looking at him, but none of them seemed to be making any move to retrieve the ball.

“Are you gonna give it back?” Yifan’s voice cut in.

Still keeping his eyes on the kids, Kyungsoo gave his answer, “They don’t want it anymore now that I’ve touched it.”

“But why?” Yifan asked, “Weren’t they playing with it?”

Kyungsoo looked over at Yifan, “Yes,” He bent down and picked up the ball placing it on the table as he continued, “They’re scared of me.”

Yifan raised his eyebrows as if to ask _Really?_

Kyungsoo nodded but didn’t say anything else.

Taking this as a hint, Yifan decided to not delve into the situation any further, instead choosing to pass the time by falling back into the previous routine of silence. They spent the rest of the afternoon like this. Occasionally, Kyungsoo would roll the ball across the table to Yifan, who would roll it then roll it back, but most of the time, Yifan watched as Kyungsoo absentmindedly passed the ball back and forth between himself.

It wasn’t until much later when Kyungsoo finally ended the silence, “Thank you, Yifan.”

Yifan looked up and watched Kyungsoo as he stood from the table, “For what?” he asked.

Kyungsoo’s normally stoic expression broke into a shy smile, “For sitting with me.” Yifan was about to open his mouth and respond, but he was cut off by Kyungsoo’s soft voice, “Will you be back tomorrow?” Yifan nodded slowly, signaling for Kyungsoo to continue, “Do you think you could sit with me again?”

Yifan nodded again.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Much to Kyungsoo’s surprise, Yifan did keep his promise for not only the next day but for the days following as well. The pair passed the summer in a comfortable silence. As more time passed, Kyungsoo grew more comfortable with his new friend and would occasionally tell him about himself. He talked about small things at first, the foods he liked, his favorite color, how much he liked summer. Then, as the air grew cooler and the leaves started to change color, Kyungsoo began to talk to Yifan about more personal topics. He talked of his dream to becoming a chef one day. He confessed that he had always wanted a dog but couldn’t have one because his Grandmother was allergic.

 

Every time Kyungsoo spoke, Yifan would listen as if he was being told the secrets of the universe. However whenever Kyungsoo asked Yifan about his life, Yifan would simply respond with, “It’s nothing special, really.”

Kyungsoo never pried any further.

Kyungsoo also never talked about the monster.

One day, after fall had transitioned into winter, and Christmas had passed into the new year, Kyungsoo and Yifan were sitting bundled up on their usual bench watching the snow fall when Kyungsoo spoke up.

“My birthday is next week.”

Yifan looked over, and even though Kyungsoo couldn’t see it, he could tell that he had raised his eyebrows from under his hat, “Really?”

Kyungsoo giggled, “Of course it is, why would I lie about that?”

Yifan shrugged, “I dunno.” He gave Kyungsoo a once over, “Is there anything you want?”

Kyungsoo shook his head, “Not really…” He looked out at the park which was covered in a blanket of snow, “But I would like to build a snowman with you.”

“Snowman?”

“You don’t know what a snowman is?”

Yifan shook his head.

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened in disbelief as his head whipped back to look at his friend, “Do you live under a rock? How do you not know what a snowman is?”

Yifan visibly stiffened before breaking out in nervous laughter. He rubbed the back of his neck through his mittens, “We don’t have them where I’m from.”

“And just where _are_ you from?”

Yifan’s jaw dropped as he sputtered out an answer, “A-a-australia.”

“Australia?”

Yifan nodded, “Australia.”  

Kyungsoo moved his face impossibly close to Yifan’s; his eyes, now impossibly wide, focused in on Yifan’s nervous gaze, “Have you ever seen a koala?”

Too intimidated to respond, Yifan just nodded.

“Kangaroo?”

Again, Yifan nodded.

“Shark?”

Another nod.

Kyungsoo’s lips broke into a smile that threatened to split his face in two, “Oh my God!”

“What?” Yifan asked, pressing himself against the back of the bench in an attempt to put some distance between Kyungsoo and himself.

“I finally got something out of you!”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Kyungsoo started; he moved back to his original position before continuing, “I mean, I’ve told you a lot about me, but you never talk about yourself.”

“And?”

“I was beginning to think that I made you up,” Kyungsoo stood from the bench and looked down at his friend, “Like an imaginary friend or something.”

Taking Kyungsoo, actions as a signal, Yifan got up from the bench to stand beside the other, “I’m real.” He stated, “100%,” He held out his arm for Kyungsoo to touch, “See?”

Kyungsoo nodded and then turned to face the park, “Hey Australia?” He glanced back at Yifan, “Ever make a snow angel?”

Yifan shook his head.

Kyungsoo flashed Yifan a smile before grabbing his hand and falling backwards into the snow. Yifan shouted as the pair tumbled to the ground; luckily for him, Kyungsoo broke his fall. They landed chest to chest, nose to nose, with Kyungsoo’s back in the snow. Kyungsoo couldn’t tell if it was his heart or Yifan’s that sped up during the split second that they stared into each other’s eyes before he pushed Yifan off into the snow.

Spreading out his arms and legs, Kyungsoo glanced over at Yifan, “First you gotta go like this.” He said, smacking his arms against the show to show Yifan what he meant. Kyungsoo waited until Yifan had positioned his arms and legs properly before continuing, “And then you just move them like this.”

Yifan watched with curiosity as Kyungsoo moved his arms and legs to clear away the snow that was surrounding them. He attempted to do the same but his arms were so long that his fingers would occasionally brush against Kyungsoo’s and push the snow into the other’s tracks.

The pair continued in this manner for a couple minutes in silence that was often broken by Kyungsoo’s giggles. After a moment, they stopped moving and lay there, arms and legs splayed, looking up at the snow falling from the sky. All was silent until Yifan spoke.

“Blue.”

Kyungsoo looked over, “What about blue?”

“My favorite color,” Yifan reiterated, “It’s blue.”

Kyungsoo hummed, “Thought so.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo sat up and looked down at his friend, “You look like you do.”

Yifan got up, “What is that supposed to mean?”

Kyungsoo shrugged, “I dunno, just tryin’ to sound cool I guess.”

“Well if you try to ‘be cool’ again I won’t tell you anything ever again.” Yifan scrunched his face.

“Wait!” Kyungsoo basically climbed on top of his friend, “You were going to tell me more!”

“Maybe,” Yifan stood, “When I feel like it.”

Kyungsoo shot up and began to tackle his friend back into the snow, “No fair!” He yelled, “You hardly ever talk!”

Yifan wrestled back as he gritted out a response, “Well maybe you just talk do much!”

“Do not!”

“Do to!”

They went on like this for quite some time until Yifan spoke up again, “Hey umm… I gotta go.”

“Why?” Kyungsoo whined, he was having arguably one of the best days of his life and he wasn’t ready for it to end.

Yifan brushed the snow from his pants, “It’s getting kind of dark, my parents will get worried if I come home too late.”

Kyungsoo kicked at a pile of snow, “You’re parents are always worried!” He waved his arms in annoyance, “Can’t you just ignore them for once?”

“I-I can’t,” Yifan fumbled with his words as he turned to leave, “You don’t understand.”

Not wanting to start a fight with his only friend, Kyungsoo simply nodded watching with a crestfallen expression as Yifan ran off into the evening streets. “See you tomorrow,” he mumbled under his breath as he turned to head home.  

 

By the time Kyungsoo’s birthday had rolled around, both had already forgotten their little dispute and everything was seemingly back to normal. But something had changed. In talking about himself, Yifan had unintentionally opened a door. A door that Kyungsoo walked through without hesitation. What would have been a quiet afternoon spent building a snowman turned into an interrogation intermittent with attempts to sculpt the fluffy January snow into a crude figure that hardly resembled a man.

“Favorite food?”

“Meat.”

“What kind?”

“Doesn’t matter.”   

“Do you like animals?”

“I guess.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes lit up, “Do you have a favorite?”

Yifan shrugged, “I dunno, do you?”

Kyungsoo hummed, “I like all animals,” he paused, “Except lizards,” he shuddered, “They scare me.”

Too invested in the snowman, Kyungsoo didn’t notice Yifan’ breath hitch, “Yeah,” he said, “I don’t like them too.”

“How about siblings? Got any?”

“Pass.” Yifan muttered, running his mittens over what was supposed to be the head of the snowman, smoothing the lumpy parts.

“Hey!” Kyungsoo threw a clump of snow at him; it missed and landed at Yifan’ feet, “You’re not allowed to pass!”

“Why not?”

“Because I wanna know,” Kyungsoo crossed his arms, “That’s why.”

“Too bad,” Yifan picked up some snow and threw it at Kyungsoo, “Next question.”

“Fine,” Kyungsoo huffed, “Do your parents have any kids that aren’t you?”

Yifan scoffed, “I said _next_ question.”

“It is the ‘ _next_ question’,” Kyungsoo said, mocking his friend.

“Not it’s not.”

“Yes it is.”

“No it’s _not_.”

“Yes, it _is_.”

Yifan huffed, “Well I’m not answering it.”

“You’re no fun.” Kyungsoo whined.

“Good,” Yifan stuck out his tongue.

“Fine, next question,” Kyungsoo said, inching his way over to Yifan, his hands behind his back, “How’s _this_ feel?” He asked, shoving a handful of snow down Yifan’ back.

Yifan nearly screamed, “ _Coldcoldcoldcoldcold_!” he sputtered out, jumping up and down in an attempt to get the snow to slide out. By the time most of the snow had either fallen out or turned to water against the heat of Yifan’ back, Kyungsoo had doubled over in laughter, banging his fist against his knee.

“What’s so funny?” Yifan asked, picking up a pile of snow.

Seeing what Yifan was about to do, Kyungsoo raised his arms in defense, “Nothing officer,” he joked while attempting to back away from his friend.

“Are you sure?” Yifan asked before lunging at Kyungsoo, tackling him to the ground and shoving the snow in his face, “Because this is pretty funny!”

Kyungsoo squealed as he tried to roll away from Yifan, but it was useless; there was no escape. The rest of the afternoon was spent rolling around in the snow, each trying to smother the other with snow. Their attempt at a snowman left forgotten as Kyungsoo’s 11th birthday became a memory he would never forget.  

 

When Kyungsoo turned 12, he began to think differently about Yifan. He wasn’t quite sure what he felt, but he knew several things about the feeling Yifan gave him. Yifan made him feel safe, Yifan made him happy, and Yifan made him feel warm and giddy inside. What Kyungsoo didn’t know was that he was beginning to fall in love with his best friend. He also wasn’t aware of the fact that Yifan felt the same way.

They were walking through the park, watching the snow fall through the trees, when Yifan tentatively reached for his hand, “Is this okay?” he asked.

Kyungsoo looked down, neither of them had bothered to put on gloves that morning, and the sight of their bare hands linked together made his face flush. He turned to look at the ground and smiled a bit, letting the warmth he felt from holding Yifan’ hand envelop him. Kyungsoo nodded, his heart was racing too quickly for him to say anything.

“Are you sure?”

Kyungsoo glanced over to Yifan’s face and saw that he was just as red as himself, “Yeah,” he said, tightening his grip on Yifan’ hand, “I like this.”

“Me too.”

They both stopped talking after that, simply choosing to enjoy the cold winter air and the heat of their hands as they walked along.

The next day, it was Kyungsoo who asked is he could hold Yifan’ hand as they sat on their usual bench, thinking about how to tell each other how they felt.

It wasn’t until two weeks later when Kyungsoo finally decided to tell Yifan what he thought he was feeling. They were laying on the ground, having just made snow angels in the fresh February snow.

“I think I like you.” Kyungsoo declared, looking up at the sky.

“I like you too.” Yifan stated.

“Not like that,” Kyungsoo protested, still looking up at the sky as he was too nervous to face the other, “I think I like _like_ you.” He felt the familiar heat spread to his cheeks as he spoke; he heard Yifan move beside him.

“Me too,” Yifan said, shuffling so that his face hovered over Kyungsoo’s. The latter’s eyes widened in response. If Kyungsoo’s eyes were a mirror, then Yifan would have been able to see the blush that dusted his cheeks as he brought his face closer, “May I?” He asked.

Kyungsoo nodded.

That afternoon, Kyungsoo had his first kiss.

 

The summer after their friendship changed from sitting in comfortable silence to hand holding and the occasional shy kiss, Kyungsoo built up the courage to tell Yifan the one thing he had never told anyone.

“Hey Yifan,” Kyungsoo looked up at the dappled light coming through the tree they were sitting under.

“Yeah?”

“Do you have something that you’ve kept secret for your whole life?”

Yifan swallowed, “Not really,” he answered, “Why?”

“B-because,” Kyungsoo started, his palms started to sweat. The tree seemed to be a whole lot taller than it was before, or was he getting smaller? He couldn’t tell.

“Hey,” Yifan grabbed his hand, “You don’t have to push yourself.” He said, thumbs rubbing small circles over Kyungsoo’s knuckles.

“No,” Kyungsoo said, “I want to say it,” he paused, thinking of the right thing to say, “I don’t want this to be something that controls me.”

Yifan stared into Kyungsoo’s large eyes, “Alright,” he said, “Go on.”

Kyungsoo nodded once, “There’s this thing,” he worried his bottom lip under his teeth for a moment, “It lives under my bed, and…” He looked past Yifan’s shoulder, “And it comes out at night. It scares me.” His eyes start to water; he didn’t know why he was so scared, “It… I don’t know what it wants from me.” He didn’t resist when Yifan wrapped his arms around him. Kyungsoo buried his face in Yifan’s chest before continuing, “I wish it would go away. I wish I could tell my grandmother, but I’m too old for monsters. I wish I knew what it wanted. Is it gonna hurt me? Please don’t let it hurt me, Yifan”

By now, Kyungsoo’s tears had seeped through Yifan’s shirt, but that didn’t stop Yifan from pulling him closer, hands rubbing small soothing circles into his shoulders, “It’s okay,” he repeated the phrase like a mantra, hoping it would reach Kyungsoo’s ears, “I’m here, nothing’s gonna happen to you.”

If Kyungsoo had looked up at that moment, he would have seen Yifan’s eyes scrunched up in an attempt to cry.

 

Two weeks after Kyungsoo had told him about the monster, Yifan left.

“My parents are moving back to Australia,” Yifan told him; they were sitting at the table where they first met, “They need me to come with them.”

“But you can just stay with me.” Kyungsoo offered knowing that he would be declined anyway.

Yifan shook his head, “You know how my parents are.” he said.

Kyungsoo’s eyes started to water, how could the only friend he’s ever had leave him like this? “You said you would protect me from the monster.”

“And I will,” Yifan wrapped his arms around the smaller, “Just because I’m leaving, doesn’t mean I’ll be gone.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kyungsoo looked up at Yifan’s crooked smile, “How can you protect me if you’re in Australia?”

“With this,” Yifan reached into his pocket and placed something into Kyungsoo’s shaking palms, “When you get scared or frightened, hold this to your chest and think of me,” Yifan ran his hand through Kyungsoo’s hair, “Nothing bad’ll happen to you if you do this.”

Kyungsoo looked down at the object in his hands, it was a rock, light grey and smooth. It looked as though Yifan had found it in the river. He flipped it over and on the other side, a crudely drawn face with big, angular eyebrows was painted on in black. It reminded Kyungsoo of Yifan; he smiled a bit, “Promise me you’ll come back.” he said it more to the rock than he did his friend.

“I promise,” Yifan kissed him on the cheek, “When I come back, I’ll make sure no monster comes near you ever again.”

Kyungsoo giggled though his tears, “How’re you gonna do that?”

Yifan took Kyungsoo’s hands into his own, “I’ll just have to marry you,” he answered, “I’ll be by your side forever and scare all the monsters away.”

“Really?”

“Promise.”

 

 _That was nearly ten years ago,_ Kyungsoo thought to himself as he pushed open the front door of his childhood home. He was greeted by silence and the smell of his grandmother’s mahogany furniture as he set his bag on the floor. He felt silly for expecting his grandmother to hobble out of the kitchen and shower his face with kisses he had grown to love. But then he remembered why he was here, why he was standing in the entry of the house he had both loved and feared his entire life.

He looked down at his watch, _3:30,_ the town clerk was supposed to come by at around four to discuss the terms of his grandmother’s will. Over the phone, Kyungsoo had been told that he was the sole benefactor and that all of his grandmother’s worldly possessions, including the house she had payed off, would go to him.

In the meantime, Kyungsoo figured that he should probably get himself settled in and prepare some coffee for the clerk when she arrived. His grandmother always liked to prepare coffee for guests.

He kicked his shoes off at the door and brought his bag upstairs. He considered using his grandmother’s bedroom since he was now master of the house but decided against it in favor of the guest room across the hall. He tossed his bag haphazardly on the bed before exploring the rest of the house for any changes. While he had been gone, the hardwood floors had been replaced by dark green carpet. It silenced Kyungsoo’s socked footsteps as he peered into each room. His childhood playroom had inevitably turned into a storeroom by the time Kyungsoo had left for college, but his grandmother had seemingly decided to turn it into a library after he had moved out. The room across the hall had been, and still was, a bathroom, but Kyungsoo noted that his grandmother had gotten it repainted since the last time he saw her. The powder blue walls would be missed, but he could get used to the warm grey that stared back at him.

Kyungsoo sighed softly as he shut the door, so much had changed, but he knew that the last room he was going to inspect would still be the same as he had left it four years ago. Reaching his hand into his back pocket, Kyungsoo let the familiar smoothness of the stone calm him. He held it to his chest before taking a deep breath and pushing open the white door that led to his bedroom.

He felt like he had travelled back in time as he moved to sit on the bed. The same navy sheets crinkled under his weight; Kyungsoo felt uneasy. He looked around the room. The walls were still the same periwinkle shade that the bathroom had once been; they made him shiver. His eyes wandered to the white closet doors, he knew if he went over and opened the closet, that it’d be empty, so he turned his attention to his old desk. He locked eyes with the photograph of him and his grandmother that stood next to an empty pencil case. His younger self was smiling, but he could see what hid in his eyes. If he had a mirror, Kyungsoo figured that he’d be able to see the same lost expression staring back at him.

Before Kyungsoo left his room, he did one last thing. Sliding off of the bed and onto his knees, he peeked under the bed. Dust Bunnies looked directly into his large, frightened eyes.

After that, Kyungsoo’s afternoon went smoothly, the town clerk explained to him the specifics of his grandmother’s will and what it meant for him to be the sole benefactor. He nodded politely to all of her words and asks questions for what he doesn’t understand. By the end of it all, he learned that his grandmother was to be cremated and that he was free to do what he liked with the ashes. He didn’t tell the clerk, but he intended to spread them in the lake, she had always liked to take him there when she had the time. His grandmother had friends, but Kyungsoo decided against a full on ceremony. He wanted it to be simple, _it’s what Grandma would have wanted_ , he told himself.

 

It was raining the day Kyungsoo went down to the lake. It was the beginnings of summer, so he didn’t bother with an umbrella. He was pleased to see that the shore was empty; he smiled down at the wooden box tucked under his arms before placing it down at his feet on the shoreline. He clasped his hands together and said a quick prayer before picking up the box.

“Hey.” A deep voice cut through the drizzle.

Startled by the sudden appearance of someone he was not expecting, Kyungsoo dropped the lid into the sand. The box remained clutched tightly in his hands, “I-i-i,” he stammered, looking down at his grandmother’s ashes, “It’s not what it looks like.” He said, turning to face the voice. Looking down at him was a familiar pair of cool eyes and the same heavy set brows that he hadn’t seen in nearly ten years, “Yifan?”

The stranger chuckled, “The one and only.”

A short lived smile graced Kyungsoo’s face, “How did you know I was here?”

Yifan shrugged, “Word travels fast in a small town.”

“But I didn’t-”

“We knew she wanted to be cremated.” Yifan cut him off, “And you used to talk about the lake a lot when we were younger, so I figured.”

 Kyungsoo nodded a bit before turning back to the ashes, “She’s starting to get wet,” he muttered, “She used to hate it when I went out without an umbrella.”

“Allow me.” Yifan said as he opened up a black umbrella and held it over them.

Kyungsoo hummed in thanks. Other than that, the pair fell back into a somewhat familiar silence as Kyungsoo began to toss his grandmother’s ashes into the lake she loved so much. He hoped that Yifan would mistake his tears for stray raindrops, but he knew that he was stupid to hope as much.

After releasing the last of the ashes into the lake, Kyungsoo broke the silence, “How long have you been back?” he directed the question more to hs shoes than he did Yifan.

“About a year,” Yifan answered, “I heard you came back last Friday.”

“Saturday.” Kyungsoo corrected, turning his body to face Yifan, “I got back last Saturday.”

“Oh…” Yifan’s voice trailed off unable to come up with a response.

Kyungsoo looked down at the empty box he was holding, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Yifan lifted Kyungsoo’s face with his free hand, “How’re you holding up?”

“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo answered truthfully, “I don’t know if I need to be alone or not,” He looked up at Yifan with sad eyes, “Would you stay with me?”

Putting his arm around the smaller, Yifan led them away from the shore, “I’m not going anywhere.”

Kyungsoo hoped Yifan’s words were true.

 

Once back at his grandmother’s house, Kyungsoo ushered Yifan to the living room and pushed him onto the couch before sitting beside him.

“Don’t you want to-”

“No,” Kyungsoo cut off Yifan’s words before he even had a chance to finish, “I just want to stay here,” he wriggled himself under Yifan’s arm before continuing, “If that’s alright with you, I mean.”

Yifan looked down at Kyungsoo; he was soaked to the bone and trembling. _He looks so helpless like this_ , Yifan thought to himself before running his hand through Kyungsoo’s drenched hair, “It’s alright.”

Kyungsoo didn’t say anything for a while after that; he just sat in Yifan’s arms and allowed the other’s body heat to warm the cold feeling in his chest. It wasn’t until his eyes started to droop with sleep did Kyungsoo begin to talk, “She would have liked you.”

“Really?” Yifan asked.

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo wrapped his arm around Yifan’s waist, “She always wanted me to be with someone who’d take good care of me. Something about how I was her little prince who deserved the best.”

“Woah,” Yifan chuckled, “That’s a lot to live up to.”

Kyungsoo’s lips broke into a small smile, “You should be able to do it,” he said, “You already made a promise.”

“But I left.”

“But you also came back.” Kyungsoo repositioned himself so that he was straddling Yifan’s lap, “That’s the only thing I need.”

Yifan smiled, “Good,” He wrapped his arms around Kyungsoo and stood from the couch. Kyungsoo instinctively wrapped his legs around the taller and allowed himself to be carried, “Because you’re the only one I need.”

“Bedroom,” Kyungsoo yawned out, “Tired.”

Readjusting his hold on the other Yifan started to walk around, looking for the bedroom.

“Stairs.”

Following Kyungsoo’s sleepy one word directions, Yifan eventually found the bedroom the smaller was talking about. After laying him on the bed, he looked out the window. The sun didn’t look like it was going to set anytime soon, but he did nothing to protest as Kyungsoo dragged him down to the bed to sleep the rest of the day away.

 

When Kyungsoo awoke the next morning, he lazily reached his arm over expecting for it to land on Yifan’s chest. It landed against cold sheets. He shot up and looked around the room. He was alone, Yifan had left him. He tumbled out of the bed and ran down the hall, peering into every room with a quick call of “Yifan?” Each time he was answered by silence, Kyungsoo grew more worried. Had Yifan really come back after all these years just to leave him again? Had he been lied to? Would he be all alone again?

_What if he’s downstairs?_

Desperate to find Yifan, Kyungsoo ran down the stairs so fast that he missed his footing and fell backwards, effectively sliding the rest of the way down.

“Kyungsoo!” A familiar deep voice shouted.

“Yifan?” Kyungsoo called back.

“I’m here!” Yifan assured the other as he came running to the bottom of the stairs; he crouched beside Kyungsoo and took his face in his hands, “Are you hurt?”

Kyungsoo shook his head, “You just weren’t there when I woke up,” He put his hands over Yifan’s, “I got worried is all.”

“I should have told you,” Yifan stood, “I wanted to surprise you with breakfast, but I guess that didn’t go out as planned.”

Kyungsoo smiled at that, “Well now you really can’t leave then.”

“Guess not,” Yifan offered his arm to help Kyungsoo up off the floor, “Hungry?”

Chuckling, Kyungsoo wrapped his arms around Yifan’s waist and shuffled into the kitchen behind him, “Always am.”

Yifan laughed, “Good.”

The smell of fresh pancakes assaulted Kyungsoo’s nose as the pair entered the kitchen. On the counter stood a plate piled high with pancakes They smelled just like the ones his grandmother used to make; the nostalgic scent made his heart swell and his eyes water.

“Ah,” Yifan turned to wipe a stray tear from Kyungsoo’s cheek, “Do you not like pancakes?”

“No,” Kyungsoo smiled, “I love them.” He grabbed Yifan’s arm and led him to the table, “Let’s eat.”

Once settled in at the table, both deemed that it was now a good time to play catch up with each other. Kyungsoo, being the more talkative of the two, talked first.

“How was Australia?”

“Australia?” Yifan asked through a mouthful of pancakes, “Hot.”

“Just hot?”

“Well, it was lonely too.”

Kyungsoo put some pancake in his mouth, “Same here, but your little charm helped a lot.”

Yifan raised an eyebrow, “Really?”

“Yup,” Kyungsoo said, “It made me think you were right next to me the whole time,” he stuffed a forkful of pancake in his mouth before continuing, “The woolly bear eyebrows really made it look just like you.”

“My eyebrows don’t look like woolly bears!” Yifan reached his fork over the table and stole some of Kyungsoo’s pancake, “Yours are the real woolly bears.”

Kyungsoo ran his fingers over his eyebrows, “ _My_ woolly bears are beautiful, thank you very much.”

“My eyebrows aren’t ugly.” Yifan scoffed.

“They aren’t,” Kyungsoo commented as he reached over the table to steal some of Yifan’s pancake, “But they’d look better if you didn’t scrunch them together all of the time.”

“Same goes to you.”

“I’m trying,” Kyungsoo said, looking down at his now empty plate, “I’ve just got a lot on my plate right now.”

“I know,” Yifan said, moving to sit beside the other, “I’ll be here every step of the way,” he took Kyungsoo’s hand, “You aren’t alone anymore.”

Kyungsoo suddenly felt overwhelmed with the fuzzy feeling he first felt ten years ago when Yifan had first kissed him, “Thank you,” he said.

Yifan kissed his temple, “What do we have to do now?”

Looking at the kitchen, Kyungsoo realized that Yifan had made quite the mess in his effort to be the perfect man. He smiled at the thought of Yifan trying his best to make him breakfast, “Guess we should start by cleaning up in here.”

 

Cleaning the kitchen took a lot longer than either of them would have expected; it would have gone by faster if Kyungsoo hadn’t decided to splash Yifan with the dishwater and start a mini water war. By the time they were done, they were both soaked.

“What’s next?” Yifan asked.

“Bath.”

“Do you wanna go first?” Yifan asked, “I can afford to wait a bit.”

“What’s with this ‘you go first’ crap?” Kyungsoo grabbed Yifan’s arm and dragged him up the stairs, “We’re getting in this tub together or you’re not getting in at all!”

Yifan laughed at that and allowed himself to be dragged into the bathroom by a very determined Kyungsoo.

“Umm…” Kyungsoo thought aloud as they both stared at the tub, “It’s smaller than I remember it.”

“Will we even fit in it?” Yifan asked, running his hand along the edge of the porcelain bath.

“It’ll be a tight fit,” Kyungsoo said as he removed his shirt, “But we should.”

“Do you want to?”

Kyungsoo looked over at Yifan who had made no move to get undressed, “Are you uncomfortable with the thought of being naked around me?”  
   

Yifan shrugged, “A bit.” He played with the hem of his shirt, “I’ve never really been naked in front of anyone before.”

“It’s alright,” Kyungsoo started to undo his pants, “Neither have I.”

“You haven’t?”

“Well what reason would I have when I was waiting for you?” Kyungsoo pushed his pants to his ankles and stepped out of them. He went over to the tub and started the water; he sat on the lip of the bath and looked up at Yifan, “There’s nothing to be ashamed of, I see those broad shoulders underneath that shirt.”

Yifan’s cheeks reddened a bit, “Well if you’re gonna put it that way.”

Kyungsoo ran his hand through the water, deeming it hot enough, he plugged the bath. He watched as Yifan tugged his shirt over his head. He couldn’t help but admire the body of the man he had waited ten years for. His eyes wandered all over Yifan’s frame looking to burn the image of lean muscles and toned arms into his mind.

“Is something wrong?” Yifan asked leaning over to shut the water off before it overfilled the bath, “Do I look that funny?”

“Not at all,” Kyungsoo said, suddenly feeling a bit self conscious about his own body, “You’re beautiful.”

“Really?” Yifan pulled his pants and underwear down in one movement; Kyungsoo tried not to stare, “You must be perfect then.”

Kyungsoo looked down at his body; he wasn’t all that tall, and he was a bit soft around the edges. He used to work out regularly during his first two years of college, he even used to have what he would consider to be a fairly impressive set of abs. However, after he had stopped going to the gym, his abs turned into the soft stomach he had today. The only features left from those days were his broad shoulders and his thighs, which he has been told were quite muscular. He grabbed the hem of his boxers, “Not at all,” he said, “I’m just average.”

“I don’t believe that for a minute,” Yifan said, stepping into the tub, “You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

Blushing, Kyungsoo stood from the edge of the tub and pushed his boxers to the floor, “Since when were you so smooth?” he asked, sitting in the tub and pressing his back to Yifan’s chest.

“I’ve always been smooth.”

Kyungsoo guffawed, “Yeah right!”

Yifan rested his chin on Kyungsoo’s shoulder, “It’s my secret attack.” He whispered.

Blushing, Kyungsoo cupped some water in his hands and poured it over Yifan’s head; Yifan pulled his head back in surprise, “Not so smooth now, are you?”

“Maybe not,” Yifan said before cupping his own handful of water and pouring it all over Kyungsoo’s head, “But neither are you.”

Kyungsoo giggled, “You little shit.”

“ _Your_ little shit.” Yifan corrected.

Kyungsoo leaned back and nuzzled his head underneath Yifan’s chin, “Well my little shit better let me enjoy this bath in peace.”

Yifan wrapped his arms around Kyungsoo’s waist and let the conversation turn into a soft silence.

They sat like that for a while, letting the occasional slosh of the bathwater be the only noise throughout the entire house. Kyungsoo enjoyed the silence, it brought him back to a time where things were different. He enjoyed the heat of the water and the warmth of Yifan’s chest against his back. It made him feel almost complete, a feeling he hadn’t felt in the longest time.

It wasn’t until the water began to lose its heat did Yifan speak up, “What’re you gonna do with the house?”

“I dunno,” Kyungsoo mumbled, “Maybe I’ll sell it,” He cupped some of the now tepid water and let it pour over his chest, “Sell it and move far away.”

“Where to?”

“Hmmmm,” Kyungsoo turned his head and looked up at Yifan, “Australia sounds nice,” he turned back to face the wall, “I’ve always wanted to see a kangaroo.”

“Are you sure about that?” Yifan asked, “Australia’s really hot, I don’t want my Kyungsoo melting on me.”

Kyungsoo laughed, “I’m sure,” He put his arms around his knees, “I love this house, but I can’t stay here. I need to move on, you know?”

Yifan hummed, “Is it the monster?”

Kyungsoo froze before nodding slightly, “It’s still here, Yifan. I haven’t seen it yet, but I can feel it. I’m too scared to sleep in my own room.” Kyungsoo turned his head to look into Yifan’s eyes; Yifan flinched when he saw the fear staring back at him, “Hell, I can’t even go in there after dark.”

“We’ll go,” Yifan wrapped his arms around Kyungsoo’s body, “As soon as we sell the house, we’re on the next flight to Australia.”

“Thank you,” Kyungsoo said as he leaned into Yifan’s touch, “Thank you, for everything.”

Yifan pressed a kiss to Kyungsoo's temple before reaching down to pull the plug from the bath, “Let’s say we go downstairs and get some lunch?”

“But we just had breakfast!” Kyungsoo whined as he slowly stood from the tub, “Besides, we’ve got a lotta stuff to go through today.”

Yifan pouted, “What do you mean?”

Kyungsoo grabbed two towels; he gave one to Yifan and wrapped the other around his waist, “Grandma gave me all her stuff and she knew as well as I do that I have no use for most of it.”

The last of the water squelched as it went down the drain. Yifan stood to wrap the towel around his waist, “What are you gonna do with it all?”

Kyungsoo picked up their discarded clothes from the floor and headed towards the door, “I’ll probably donate most of it, but I’d like to keep the furniture here for the people who buy it,” He motioned for Yifan to follow him out of the bathroom and down the hall, “Besides, it’s too heavy to move.” Kyungsoo turned into the guest bedroom, Yifan followed, “You don’t have anything to change into, don’t you?” He tossed the dirty clothes into a hamper in the corner of the room.

Yifan shook his head, “Only what I came with.”

“Where are you staying?” Kyungsoo asked, “We should probably take a ride over and get your stuff before we do anything else.”

“Umm…” Yifan scratched the back of his head, “You know that place by the gas station?”

“Sunset Inn?” Kyungsoo looked over his shoulder at Yifan, “You’ve been staying at a shitty _motel_ for over a year?”

Yifan shrugged, “It was cheap, and the owner cut me a deal because I said I’d be staying a while.”

“ _Jesus Christ_ Yifan,” Kyungsoo pulled a shirt from his duffel bag and threw it at him, “You could have just stayed here. My Grandmother always said she wanted my ‘special friend’ to come over.”

Yifan pulled the shirt over his head, it was a bit short and the shoulders were a bit tight but other than that it fit alright, “‘Special friend’? That’s what you told her I was?”

Kyungsoo pulled a shirt over his head, “When I was like, 11.” He rummaged through the duffel bag in search of an extra pair of boxers for Yifan before finding a pair for himself, “Is there something wrong with that?”

“Not at all,” Yifan caught the ball of sweatpants and underwear Kyungsoo threw his way, “It’s actually kinda cute.”

Kyungsoo’s face turned red as he stepped into his boxers, “I am _not_ cute.”

“Yes you are,” Yifan pulled the sweatpants to his waist, they didn’t even come close to reaching his ankles, “Have you seen yourself?”

“I am not-” Kyungsoo whipped around with the intention of telling Yifan off, but the sight of his clothes on the taller made him forget everything and burst out in uncontrollable laughter.

“What?” Yifan stared at Kyungsoo, who had doubled over in his fit of laughter.

Kyungsoo pointed at the other before managing to say, “Your clothes!” before being hit by a round of laughter so hard that he fell to the floor.

Yifan looked down at himself; he couldn’t really tell what he looked like to Kyungsoo, “What about my clothes?”

Kyungsoo pointed over at the mirror against the wall, “Look at yourself.”

Turning to look at himself, Yifan finally saw what Kyungsoo found so funny, “Oh my God,” he breathed out, “I can’t go outside like this.”

Kyungsoo stood from the floor, “It’s your own fault for bein’ so big.”

“Hey,” Yifan whined, wrapping his arms around the smaller, turning him so that they both faced the mirror, “Maybe it’s your fault for being so tiny.”

Kyungsoo wanted to tell Yifan that he wasn’t tiny, but the words stopped in his throat as he looked at the couple in the mirror. The top of his head just barely reached Yifan’s lips; they certainly made quite the pair with Yifan being long and lean while he was short and somewhat stocky. They looked nothing alike, but Kyungsoo thought they fit together perfectly, “What do you think?”

“Think about what?” Yifan’s nose twitched at the touch of Kyungsoo’s hair; he moved to rest his chin on top of Kyungsoo’s head.

“Us.” Kyungsoo looked into Yifan’s eyes through the mirror.

Yifan began to shift his weight from side to side, rocking them both as he answered, “I think you’re too perfect for me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Yifan moved to press a kiss to Kyungsoo’s cheek, “You’re handsome,” another kiss, “You’re beautiful,” another kiss, this time on the other side, “You’re strong,” another kiss, this time, the top of Kyungsoo’s head, “You’re smart,” he turned Kyungsoo around and looked down into his eyes, “I _love_ everything about you,” he brushed the pad of his thumb over Kyungsoo’s cheek, “No matter how I look at you, how I think about you, you’re perfect.”

Kyungsoo couldn’t help but smile at Yifan’s words, “But I’m not like that at all; you’re the one who’s perfect.”

Yifan wished he had the courage to respond. Instead, he simply held Kyungsoo’s chin in his hand, “May I?”

Standing on his toes, Kyungsoo reached up to press their lips together for the first kiss in ten years, “Too late.” He flashed Yifan a bright smile before tapping his shoulder, “How about we wash your clothes and you wear those instead?”

Yifan pinched Kyungsoo’s cheek as he let him go, “Sounds good.”

 

After Yifan’s clothes had been washed, the two of them piled into Kyungsoo’s car and began the drive to Sunset Inn. Seeing that the parking lot was full, Kyungsoo ended up having to park in the gas station next door. Cutting the engine, he turned to look at Yifan.

“Do you want me to go with you?”

Yifan shook his head, “There’s not a lot of stuff, I’ll be right back.”

“Alright, I’ll be here then,” Kyungsoo leaned over the seat and gave Yifan a quick kiss, “Wanna head to the store and pick up something for dinner after?”

Yifan flashed Kyungsoo a thumbs up as he got out of the car, leaving the other to himself for a few moments while he went to get his things.

Drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, Kyungsoo turned to look at the gas station. A couple other cars were parked in the lot next to his; they all looked just as run down as the building before them. Looking through the window, Kyungsoo could see some people inside. Most of them looked familiar, like he had seen them around town, but one of them stood out from the rest – _Park Chanyeol_. Kyungsoo would never be able to mistake the large ears and perpetual smile as anyone else. After Yifan left, Chanyeol had transferred into his class. Kyungsoo was Demon Boy; Chanyeol was Elf Kid. They had grown close during that time, but they had fallen out of touch when both of them had left town for college. Lost in his thoughts, Kyungsoo hadn’t noticed that Chanyeol had left the store.

“Kyungsoo?” The deep voice startled him, causing him to look out his window and see that Chanyeol had approached his car, “Is that you?”

“Chanyeol?”

The man smiled, “So it really is you!” he leaned against the car, “I heard you were back in town.”

“Yep,” Kyungsoo flashed his old friend a small smile, “I’ll be here for a while still; I didn’t know that you were also back.”

Chanyeol nodded, “Just came back to sort some last minute stuff out,” He paused for a moment before continuing, “Look, you’ve probably heard this a lot since you’ve been back, but I’m sorry about your grandmother.”

Kyungsoo nodded, “I have, but it means more coming from a friend, thank you.”

“It’s good to know I’m still a friend,” Chanyeol adjusted his hold on the paper bag he was holding, “We haven’t really spoken in what? Four years?”

“Something like that,” Kyungsoo hummed, “Four years isn’t exactly the longest time I’ve gone without talking to someone.”

“Oh yeah!” Chanyeol seemed to remember something, “Did he ever come back? What was his name again?”

“Yifan?”

Kyungsoo nearly burst out laughing as Chanyeol jumped at the sound of Yifan’s voice. He watched with a smile as the two men gave each other an impromptu stare down; he couldn’t help but notice that Yifan was slightly pushing his chest out in an attempt to seem bigger. Chanyeol stuck out his hand first.

“Park Chanyeol, I was a friend of Kyungsoo’s.”

Yifan took Chanyeol’s hand and squeezed it a bit too tightly, “Wu Yifan, Kyungsoo’s fiancé.”

Chanyeol turned his head to look at Kyungsoo, “You were _serious?_ ”

Kyungsoo felt his cheeks heat up a bit; he knew that he and Yifan had promised to get married when they were younger, but this was the first time one of them had ever addressed the other like that, “Yeah,” he answered, “Why would I lie about that?”

Chanyeol shrugged, “I dunno, we were like 15 when you told me that,” he turned back to Yifan, “You’re lucky to have a guy like Soo; you don’t even wanna know how much he talked about you back then.”

Obviously interested, Yifan raised a brow, “Really?”

Chanyeol began to speak; Kyungsoo wanted to crawl under the dashboard and die of embarrassment, “Oh yeah, he was obsessed with you. It took him a while to tell me about you, but after he did it was ‘Yifan this,’ and ‘Yifan that.’ With the way he talked about you I didn’t even think you were real. I thought you were like a dream he had or something.”

Yifan looked over Chanyeol’s shoulder and into Kyungsoo’s eyes, “You never told me about this.”

“Well,” Kyungsoo looked like he was trying to hide his head in his shoulders, “You didn’t ask.”

Chanyeol laughed, “He’d die of embarrassment if he told you all the things he told me back then.” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his phone, “I should probably go before he kills me,” he turned to Kyungsoo, “I’d like to see you again sometime soon and have a proper catching up.”

Getting the hint, Kyungsoo smiled and pulled his phone and handed it to Chanyeol, “I’d like that.”

After saving himself as a contact in Kyungsoo’s phone, Chanyeol said goodbye to the pair with a wave.

“Are you gonna get in the car?”

Yifan held his bag to the window, “I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel like sharing a seat with all my crap.”

Kyungsoo unlocked the backdoor; he waited for Yifan to put his stuff in and get in the passenger seat before asking, “So what do you want for dinner tonight?”

Completely ignoring the question, Yifan smirked, “So Chanyeol, huh?”

Kyungsoo’s blushed and pushed Yifan’s shoulder, “It wasn’t like that. He was just a friend.”

Yifan put his hand on Kyungsoo’s knee, “I know,” he said.

“Don’t lie,” Kyungsoo turned on the car, “I saw how you were sizing him up back there.”

“I wasn’t sizing him up,” Yifan pouted, “I just need to be the coolest guy in your line of sight at all times.”

Kyungsoo backed out of the parking lot before responding, “So you think Chanyeol’s cool?”

“A bit yeah,” Yifan scratched the back of his neck, “He’s the same height as me; I felt threatened, you know?”

“Cute.”

“What’s cute?”

Kyungsoo chuckled, “You are.”

“Am not.”

“You just said that you were intimidated by my friend because of how tall he was.”

“And?”

“Have you seen how tall you are?”

“But he could have been taller.”

“So?”

“Then I wouldn’t be the coolest, would I?”

“Then what does that make me?” Kyungsoo asked, “I’m shorter than both of you.”

“You’re always the coolest.”

“Cooler than you?”

“No one’s cooler than me.”

Kyungsoo smirked, “Totally cute.”

“Whatever,” Yifan crossed his arms, “Why didn’t you tell me that you made a friend while I was gone?”

Kyungsoo shrugged, “I dunno. Timing didn’t seem right.”

“Were you afraid that I’d get jealous?”

“I don’t know, a bit maybe.”

“Soo, you don’t have to be worried about those things around me.” Yifan would have reached over and taken Kyungsoo’s hand, but he didn’t want to distract him from the road, “I’m glad that you made a friend like Chanyeol, he seems like a great guy.”

“He is.” Kyungsoo smiled, “You’ll like him the more you get to know him.”

Yifan hummed in agreement.

“You know it’s thanks to you that I got to know him.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo pulled into the grocery store parking lot, “You reaching out to me that day at the park gave me the idea to sit with him when no one else did.” He put the car in park, “If I never met you I’d probably still be all alone. Some days I feel like there’s nothing I’ll be able to do to pay you back.”

Yifan leaned over the middle of the car and kissed him, “You being here with me is enough.”

Kyungsoo felt his heart flip, “I love you.”

Yifan flashed him a gummy smile, “I love you too.”

“Hey,” Kyungsoo looked out the window, “Let’s say we skip the grocery shopping and just order a pizza?”

“Sounds good to me.”

 

Well, the original plan _had_ been to order a pizza, but as soon as they had stepped into the door, Kyungsoo had decided to kiss Yifan breathless. Wrapping his arms around the taller’s neck, Kyungsoo jumped up and wrapped his legs around Yifan’s waist. Yifan instinctively moved his hands to hold Kyungsoo’s ass.

Having nowhere to go, Yifan stumbled back into the wall; he tried to speak ad Kyungsoo began to mouth along his neck, “Wanna take this upstairs?”

“Too far,” Kyungsoo nibbled his ear, “Couch.”

Yifan chuckled as he followed Kyungsoo’s command, sitting back on the couch was quite the chore considering he had Kyungsoo latched to his front suckling along his neck. Once sitting, Kyungsoo pulled back a bit to look at Yifan with half lidded eyes.

“What do you want?” Yifan asked.

“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo said before tugging at the hem Yifan’s shirt, “I just wanna touch.”

Yifan leaned in to kiss Kyungsoo’s nose before pulling off his shirt, “Your turn,” he said, reaching out to Kyungsoo’s own. Pulling his shirt over his head, Kyungsoo tossed it to the floor before going back in to kiss Yifan. No knowing what to do with his hands, Yifan put them on Kyungsoo’s hips.

Kyungsoo bared his neck, letting a shaky sigh leave his lips, “More,” he put his hands over Yifan’s and guided them to his ass.

Getting the hint, Yifan leaned in and began to kiss Kyungsoo’s neck. He started gentle, peppering it with soft butterfly kisses before suckling on the soft skin, grazing his teeth over the juncture of his neck and shoulder. He used his hands to pull Kyungsoo impossibly close. He felt the other’s growing erection press against his own; the smaller groaned as he began to grind his hips against Yifan’s.

Yifan groaned as he felt Kyungsoo’s hands run through his hair; he bucked his hips forward, relishing in the way it made Kyungsoo pull at his hair. He moved his head up to press his forehead against the other’s. They shared a gummy smile before going in to kiss each other’s lips.

Opening his mouth, Kyungsoo let Yifan slip his tongue inside. He had never been kissed like this before, so he had no idea if either of them were doing a good job, but he couldn’t care less. He pressed his chest up against Yifan’s hoping that it felt just as good for the other as it did for him. Removing his hands from the Yifan’s hair, Kyungsoo moved them down to undo both of their pants; they shook as he fumbled with the buttons. Noticing that he was nervous, Yifan moved his hands to help Kyungsoo with their pants. Pulling his erection free, Yifan watched as Kyungsoo did the same.

Kyungsoo smirked, “Still think that I’m small and cute?”

“Shut up.” Yifan nudged his shoulder playfully.

Kyungsoo looked down at their erections before looking back up at Yifan’s face, “So?” he asked, “What do we do now?”

“What do you think we should do?”

Not knowing what to say, Kyungsoo simply scooted forward and ground his cock against Yifan’s.

“Shit,” Yifan breathed out, “That felt good, do it again.”

“So demanding,” Kyungsoo joked as he repeated the motion this time wrapping his hands around their leaking erections. He continued to grind back and forth, moving his hand up and down, occasionally thumbing the slits of both their cocks. He didn’t really know what he was doing, but the look on Yifan’s face said he was doing the right thing. He moved his free hand to grab one of Yifan’s. He intertwined their fingers as he leaned in to kiss him.

The kiss was sloppy, all tongue and no thought as the pair frantically ground against each other, thinking of nothing but the other. Neither of them wanted the moment to end, but with the way things were going, one of them was going to come sooner rather than later.

Kyungsoo broke the kiss with a groan, “I’m getting close.”

“Me too.”

Yifan placed his hand over Kyungsoo’s increasing the pace until he came all over their hands. The sight of Yifan’s brows knitted in pleasure was what pushed Kyungsoo over the edge, his come mixing with Yifan’s.

The pair panted as they came down from their highs, “That was amazing,” Kyungsoo sighed, leaning his head against Yifan’s shoulder, “I really needed that.”

Yifan chuckled, moving his clean hand to wrap around Kyungsoo’s back, “I could see that,” he patted Kyungsoo’s back a couple times, “Up.”

Kyungsoo wriggled his body even closer to Yifan’s, “Don’t wanna.”

“It’s gonna get all crusty.”

“Who cares, we’re already sticky and gross anyway.”

“I care,” Yifan pinched Kyungsoo’s side, “I’m hungry.”

“Fine, fine, you win.” Kyungsoo said, sliding down from Yifan’s lap, “Only because I’m hungry too.”

 

Not even an hour later, the pair were settled back on the couch with cheap pizza and a crappy movie. Kyungsoo curled up against Yifan’s side as he reached for a slice of pizza; instead of eating it, he decided to be a brat. He shoved it against Yifan’s mouth, giggling as sauce smeared his face.

“What’s gotten into you?” Yifan looked down at Kyungsoo who was smiling up at him like an idiot.

“I dunno,” Kyungsoo pushed the pizza closer to Yifan’s mouth, “Guess I’m just really happy.”

Yifan leaned forward and bit the slice, he spoke through a mouthful of pizza, “What for?”

“I feel like I’m living my dream,” Kyungsoo took a bite from the slice in his hand, “It’s almost too good to be true.” He leaned back against Yifan’s shoulder and stared at the television, “I feel like the luckiest man in the world.”

Yifan hummed and let the conversation die back down into their usual silence. He wrapped his arm around Kyungsoo and kissed the top of his head, hoping that the smaller would pass out before the movie was over.

Luckily, Kyungsoo did end up falling asleep about halfway through the movie. He looked out the window, the sky was starting to turn red. Getting off of the couch would be to lie to the one he loved, but to stay on would ruin everything. Yifan sighed as he gently moved Kyungsoo to lay on the couch before standing up. He wanted so badly to press a kiss to his forehead, but he couldn’t risk waking to other up. Silently, he made his way up the stairs and into Kyungsoo’s childhood room; he slithered under the bed and prayed that Kyungsoo wouldn’t wake up until the sun came up.

 

Kyungsoo woke to the sound of the television static; he sat up and rubbed his eyes. The room was dark. Getting up from the couch, he shuffled over to the lightswitch. He looked around the room to see that he was alone. Figuring that Yifan had gone up to bed, Kyungsoo turned off the television and decided to join him.

Uncomfortable with the silence as he went up the stairs, Kyungsoo hoped that Yifan would still be awake when he walked into the bedroom. Much to his surprise, the bedroom was empty. _Maybe he forgot that we were using this room_ he thought, _maybe he’s in my old room_. He tried to assure himself as he padded down the hall.

“Yifan?” he called out as he knocked on the door, “Yifan, are you in there?”

No answer, but Kyungsoo heard movement from the other side of the door. Was Yifan trying to surprise him? Kyungsoo smiled at the thought, “Yifan, I’m coming in,” he called out before pushing the white door open. The room was dark, but he could see a lump on his bed that was around the same size as Yifan. _Maybe he’s asleep_ Kyungsoo thought to himself. He silently moved his hand along the wall until he felt the lightswitch. It flicked on with a soft click and soon the room was bathed in a yellow light. Whatever Kyungsoo’s was thinking about disappeared in an instant because right there in front of him, on his bed, was the one thing he never wanted to face alone.

_The Monster._

Kyungsoo was frozen in place as he looked at it; he had never seen it like this before. It was big and scaly, like a giant lizard man. It’s scales were a greyish blue that seemed to reflect the light shining down on them. Kyungsoo felt his heart speed up as the thing’s tail began to stir. He wanted to call out to Yifan, but the words were stuck in his throat. Sweat dripped down his face and his skin blanched as the creature turned to look at him.

 _Red_.

The Monster’s red eyes stared right into Kyungsoo’s frightened orbs. He noted that the thing had horns of some sort, but he was too busy looking into it’s eyes to really care about those.

What he hadn’t expected was for the thing to actually speak, “Don’t look, Soo,” it hid its face in it’s hands, “I know how much you’re scared of me.”

It’s voice, while reminding Kyungsoo of every nightmare he had ever had, sounded oddly familiar, “Yifan?”

The thing nodded, “I’m sorry,” it seemed to curl in on itself in shame, “I’m so sorry.”

Kyungsoo took a step forward, “You’re the,” another step, “Monster?”

The Monster nodded.

Not wanting to hear another word, Kyungsoo ran from his room and into the bedroom. Locking the door behind him, Kyungsoo hid under the blankets and wished that he had never gotten up from the couch.

 

The next morning, Kyungsoo woke up not understanding what he was feeling. He thought it was anger, but he also wanted to cry. Part of him felt stupid for falling for it; the other part felt betrayed because now Yifan was a lie. Were the one he loved and the thing that haunted his nightmares really the same? Not knowing what to do, he wrapped his arms over his face and yelled into his elbows.

“Soo?” A tentative voice knocked on the door, “Can I come in?”

Kyungsoo looked over at the door, “No,” he answered, “Go away.”

“I’m sorry.” Yifan’s voice felt like a stake being driven into Kyungsoo’s heart. He resisted the urge to go over and open the door as he heard Yifan slide against the wall to sit on the floor, “I never meant to lie to you, not like this.”

Kyungsoo felt some sort of anger take over as he turned to face the door, “Then _what_ did you mean to do?” he asked, “Because the past 12 years of my life have been one _big_ lie thanks to you!” He didn’t want to shout, but a lot of things he didn’t want to happen have been happening lately.

“I know,” Yifan’s voice carried a pain that Kyungsoo couldn’t comprehend in his state, “I wanted to tell you, I really did.”

“And _what?_ ” Kyungsoo stood and went over to the door, “Act like everything was all _normal?_ ” He nearly ripped the door off it’s hinges as he opened it; he stared down at Yifan. He looked so small and pathetic curled up against the wall like that; Kyungsoo didn’t care, “That most people fall in love with the _monster_ under their bed?”

Yifan froze at the word monster. He looked up at Kyungsoo, “I don’t know,” he answered, “I just didn’t want it to be like this.”

“Well too fucking bad!” Kyungsoo felt his eyes start to water, “You don’t understand what it feels like to be lied to like this!” He banged his fist against the wall, “In all the years that I’ve known you, I have _never_ lied to you! _Never!_ I even told you about how much you scared me and you did _nothing. Nothing_ to stop. Even after ‘you’ left me.” He took a deep breath before continuing, “ _You_ have done nothing but lie, don’t try to tell me that you didn’t want to be like this. Both you and me know that that’s bullshit. It would have been like this anyway. How else would you expect me to react to this?”

Yifan stood from the floor. Kyungsoo looked into his eyes; they were brown right now, but all he could see was the red from last night, “No” he said, “No Kyungsoo, you’re the one who doesn’t understand!” He took a step closer, “Do you know how I felt every day? How I felt knowing that I was the thing that terrorized you? I could see the fear in your eyes when you looked at me. I’m not blind,” Yifan punched the wall, not even flinching as his fist broke through the drywall, “I know how you feel about me, but I never meant to hurt you, trust me.”

“How am I supposed to trust you?”

“You’re not, not after what I did. But what I _am_ changes nothing about how I feel.” Yifan ran his hand through his hair, “I still love you. I tried to stop. That day,” he began to pace around the hall, “That day when you told me what I already knew, that I was a _monster_ who made your life a living hell. I felt so _guilty_ holding you in my arms knowing that you wanted me to protect you from myself. I wanted to tell you then, but the way you looked into my eyes made me stop. I couldn’t, not then,” He turned to face Kyungsoo, “You will _never_ understand what it’s like to torment the one person you love the most.” He pointed at Kyungsoo’s chest, “Don’t act like you’re the only one who’s hurt because I’ve been in pain longer than you could imagine.”

Kyungsoo didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t say anything. He turned back into the room, grabbed a bag that he wasn’t even sure was his and stormed out of the house with it. Hopping into his car, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and called the first person who came to mind, “Chanyeol?” he asked, “Can I come over?”

 

Once he had made it to Chanyeol’s front porch he tried to compose himself before the other opened the door. He breathed in and wiped the last of the tears away from his eyes. There was nothing he could do about the red color of his face, so he hoped that Chanyeol wouldn’t notice.

“Kyungsoo?” Chanyeol asked, obviously noticing the state of his face, “Are you alright.”

Not wanting to lie to his friend, Kyungsoo shook his head, “Can I come in?”

“Of course you can,” Chanyeol let Kyungsoo inside, “What happened. Did you get in a fight with Yifan?”

Kyungsoo looked at the floor; he tightened the grip on the bag he was holding, “What do you do when you find out that someone has been lying to you for the entire time that you’ve known them?”

Chanyeol wrapped his arm around Kyungsoo and led him to the living room, “What do you mean?” he sat them down on the couch.

“Well,” Kyungsoo started to twiddle his thumbs, “Last night I found out that Yifan had been lying to me,”

“Like he wasn’t planning on marrying you?”

“No, not like that,” Kyungsoo looked over at the wall, “He’s not the person he told me he was.” He took a deep breath before continuing, “This morning, we got into a fight about, and he told me that he had a reason for lying, that he was hurting just as much as I was, and I don’t know what to do.” He began to cry as Chanyeol wrapped an arm around his shoulders, “I want to believe him, but I can’t. I want to say that when I looked into his eyes I saw that pain, but all I could see was the eyes of a liar.” Kyungsoo wanted to continue, but he had begun to sob so much that talking wasn’t an option.

“It’s okay,” Chanyeol rubbed his hand in small circles on the other’s back, “It’s alright to be angry. You don’t have to know what to do right now.” he stood from the couch, “I’ll be right back.”

Not even a minute later, Chanyeol returned with a glass of water. He set it on the table. Kyungsoo looked at it for a moment before reaching out with a shaky hand. He spilled most of it on his shirt as he drank it, but he wasn’t really paying attention to that right now. He handed the now empty glass back to his friend, “Thank you.”

Chanyeol smiled, “You don’t have to thank me.” He put the cup back on the table, “You look like you could use a hot shower.”

Kyungsoo tried to smile, “That would be nice.”

“C’mon,” Chanyeol got up off the couch, “Bathroom’s this way.”

 

After a much needed shower, Kyungsoo rummaged through his bag only to realise that the clothes in it weren’t his. He picked up one of Yifan’s shirts and buried his face in it, “Of course,” he mumbled into the fabric, “You just can’t leave me alone, can you?” He smiled a bit as Yifan’s scent invaded his lungs; his heart swelled, but it twisted at the same time. Resigning himself to his fate, Kyungsoo slid the shirt on over his head.

Once he was dressed, Kyungsoo headed downstairs to see that Chanyeol had changed his clothes. He was hovered over the stove watching something, the smell of pancakes making him smile.

“I have to head out to work in a bit, but you’re welcome to stay as long as you like.” Chanyeol said not looking up from the pan, “You can help yourself to whatever’s in the fridge later. I’m making pancakes right now if you want any.”

Kyungsoo sat at the kitchen counter, “I could use some pancakes.”

Chanyeol smiled “Do you want anything with them?”

“Do you have any butter?”

“I always have butter.”

Kyungsoo smiled as Chanyeol handed him a plate of warm pancakes with butter on top.

“You used to always talk about your grandmother’s pancakes,” Chanyeol said as he slid next to Kyungsoo, “These probably aren’t as good as hers, but I tried.”

“It’s alright,” Kyungsoo said breaking into the pancake with a fork, “No one’s pancakes will ever be as good as hers.”

 

Kyungsoo ended up staying three days at Chanyeol’s place. The first day was spent sitting on the couch, aimlessly staring at the television between random fits of frustrated tears. The second day was spent sleeping in an attempt to calm his nerves, and the third day was spent thinking. He thought about what Yifan had said to him. Did he really not understand what the other was feeling? He remembered when they were younger. Yifan had always been hesitant to talk about his family.

 _If I had been smarter then, would I have picked up on it? Would I have noticed?_ Kyungsoo asked himself. _Who knows?_

Kyungsoo looked down at the duffel bag on the floor. Everything in that beg smelled of Yifan, but Kyungsoo wasn’t scared of it. He was scared of the monster, but why wasn’t he scared of Yifan. Yifan was the monster, but the monster wasn’t Yifan.

He looked down at his hands. Why was he being so childish? He was twenty-two years old, and he was still scared of the monster under his bed, but he was also in love. He couldn’t deny the way his heart seemed to grow whenever he thought of Yifan’s gummy smile. He didn’t want to lose that, he couldn’t.

He stood from the couch and grabbed his bag. He scribbled down a note for Chanyeol before scrambling into his car and driving back to his home. Leaving the bag in the passenger seat, Kyungsoo ran up the steps and into the house.

“Wu Yifan!” He called out, he heard a shuffling noise coming from upstairs. He headed towards it with a newfound sense of confidence. The noise led him to stand in front of the white door that had first intimidated him when he had returned, “Wu Yifan if you don’t open this door, I’m going to kick it down so help me-”

“Kyungsoo?” Yifan stood in the doorway; he looked like a complete mess. His hair stuck out in all directions and his eyes were laden with dark circles that looked like they had been drawn on with a marker.

“Yifan.”

“I understand if you want to leave me. I’m sorry for getting angry with you. I shouldn’t have. I know that there’s nothing I can do to make it up to you-”

“Yifan!” Kyungsoo grabbed the other’s face with his hands and pulled him down for a kiss, “I’m not here to leave you. I’m here to apologize,” he pushed his way past Yifan and into his bedroom. He sat on the bed and motioned for Yifan to sit next to him. He didn’t continue until the taller sat beside him, “Look,” he said, “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fully understand what you’re feeling, but I know what I know okay?”

Yifan nodded, “Are you mad?”

Kyungsoo took Yifan’s trembling hands in his own, “I was,” he admitted, “I was pissed, but I’m not anymore,” he paused, “because I realized something.”

“What?”

“I realized that I love you. I love you more than I ever feared the monster.”

“But I am-”

“I know, I know what you are, but that doesn’t change how I feel. I’m sorry for saying all of those things.”   

“You don’t have to be sorry, you had every right to be mad.”

“I know,” Kyungsoo said, “But I still am, I didn’t even consider what you could have been feeling, and that was selfish of me.” He hugged Yifan, “It’s going to take a bit to get used to this, but I’m ready to try.”

“Really?”

Kyungsoo kissed Yifan, “I think it’s about time I faced the monster under my bed.”

Yifan smiled, “Is it possible to fall in love with the same person twice?”

Kyungsoo shrugged, “We’ll find out when the sun goes down.” The pair looked out the window, sun was starting to set, “How long?” Kyungsoo asked.

“About thirty minutes.”

Kyungsoo stood from the bed, “Good,” he took Yifan’s hand, “Just enough time to make some grilled cheese, I’m starving.”

“Want me to make it?” Yifan offered.

“No,” Kyungsoo answered as he began to head down the stairs, “It’s my turn to cook for you.”

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to eat it,” Yifan confessed as he followed Kyungsoo into the kitchen, “I don’t think I’ve ever been this nervous in my entire life.”

Kyungsoo laughed, “You’re not the only one,” he reached into the fridge and pulled out some cheese. His hands, shaking with adrenaline dropped it on the floor, “See? I can’t even hold a damn block of cheese properly.”

Yifan chuckled before he bent down to pick up the cheese for Kyungsoo, “It’s ok,” he said, “Hopefully you’ll feel better after you eat.”

“We,” Kyungsoo corrected as he pulled four slices of bread from the cupboard, “You’re eating too whether you like it or not.”

Yifan wrapped his arms around Kyungsoo’s waist and rest his chin on his shoulder, “How about we skip the food for now?”

“Why?” Kyungsoo asked, “You look like you haven’t eaten in days.” he went to slice a piece of cheese but Yifan stopped him.

“You’re shaking,” Yifan placed Kyungsoo’s hand against the counter, making him put down the knife he was holding, “I don’t want you to cut your fingers off.”

Kyungsoo sighed in defeat, “You’re probably right,” He wrapped the cheese back up, “I also feel like I’ll throw up if I eat anything right now.” Picking up a piece of bread and looking at it, Kyungsoo began to feel a little guilty, “I wish I wasn’t this nervous.”

“It’s alright,” Yifan kissed his temple, “You have every right to be nervous.”

“But I shouldn’t feel nervous around you, I know you’re not going to hurt me or anything like that.”

“Yeah, but you’re about to see a side of me that you were terrified of for your entire life. I’m not gonna feel upset if you’re scared.”

“Alright.” Kyungsoo took a deep breath, “Where do you wanna do this?”

“I dunno,” Yifan answered, “Where would you feel most comfortable?”

“Can we do it in the living room?” Kyungsoo looked over his shoulder at Yifan, “It’s got the best lighting.”

Yifan laughed, “Living room it is then.”

Kyungsoo didn’t protest as Yifan lifted him in the air and carries him across the floor to the couch. He smiled warmly as Yifan set him on the couch and then went around the room to turn on all the lights. Once Yifan had returned to the couch, Kyungsoo pressed himself to his side and laced their fingers together, “I’m sorry for running away.” he said, staring at their hands.

“Don’t be,” Yifan responded, “I’m sorry for everything. Lying to you, running away, getting an-”

“Maybe we should both stop being so sorry.” Kyungsoo cut in, “I think we’ve apologized to each other so much too much today. Yifan,”

Kyungsoo waited for Yifan to look in his eyes before continuing, “I forgive you. I love you. I want to start fresh.”

Yifan smiled, “Thank you,” he squeezed Kyungsoo’s hand, “Thank you for giving me a second chance.”

Kyungsoo looked out the window; Yifan did the same, “How much time now?”

“I don’t know,” Yifan answered, “Like fifteen minutes maybe.”

Kyungsoo whined, “Can’t you speed up the process?”

Yifan laughed, “If I could control it I’d just not transform at all.”

“But where’s the fun in that?”

“You’re the one who’s scared shitless of me.” Yifan pushed Kyungsoo playfully.

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo said, “But you get to be both a human _and_ a monster.”

Yifan laughed, “But which do you prefer?”

“Who knows,” Kyungsoo said, pressing a kiss to Yifan’s jaw, “Maybe I’ll end up liking your scales.”

“You’ll be stuck with both either way.” Yifan joked, “So you better get used to it.”

“I’ll try.”

After that, the conversation died down and the pair sat in silence, waiting for the sun to set. Kyungsoo listened to the sound of Yifan’s breathing; he wondered if the erratic heartbeat he felt was Yifan’s or his own. He anxiously looked out the window; the sky was bathed in deep red and purple hues. It looked beautiful, and he hoped that one day he’d be able to watch it with Yifan under a different circumstance. He felt Yifan stir beside him.

“It’s gonna happen soon,” he said, “I can feel it.” Yifan stood from the couch, “I’m gonna go to the other room, close your eyes now, and _don’t_ open them until I tell you to.” Kyungsoo nodded; Yifan kissed him on the lips, “Just remember, I will _not_ hurt you, under any circumstance, okay?”

Kyungsoo nodded again, “Okay.”

Yifan touched his face gently, “I’ll be right back.” He turned and left the room.

Kyungsoo closed his eyes.

He took a deep breath.

He clecnched his fists.

He waited.

The sound of footsteps coming into the living room made Kyungsoo want to open his eyes, but he couldn’t, not until Yifan was ready.

“Ok,” Yifan’s voice said, “You can open your eyes now.”

Kyungsoo opened his eyes one at a time, hoping that it would help him adjust to the form standing before him. This time however, Kyungsoo was looking at it face to face. He held his breath as he took it all in. He didn’t know if it was his mind playing tricks on him, but Yifan looked taller like this, _maybe it’s the horns_ , Kyungsoo thought. He looked at the horns with a mixture of fear and amazement; there were four of them. Two little ones, about half the size of his pinky finger, right where his eyebrows should be, and two bigger ones, about the length of his middle finger, right above the smaller ones. Three nights ago, they reminded Kyungsoo of a demon that had crawled its way out of hell, but now, knowing that they belonged to Yifan made Kyungsoo think they were kind of cute.

His eyes moved down to look into Yifan’s. They were deep red, and the pupils were slitted, like a snake’s. It took him a moment to get comfortable with the looking directly into the eyes, but after he saw Yifan in them, he didn’t want to look away.

Kyungsoo eventually broke eye contact to look at the rest of Yifan’s face. His face, like the rest of the body, was covered in blue scales. His nose was upturned, and it reminded him of a small lizard’s. His lips were the part of his face that wasn’t covered in scales. They were thin and the same blue color as the scales. Kyungsoo’s eyes widened as a pink forked tongue slipped out of Yifan’s mouth to wet his lips.

Moving his attention away from his face, Kyungsoo examined Yifan’s body. He had the same build as he normally did, but as Kyungsoo looked further down, he noticed something, “You don’t have a-”

“I do!” Yifan protested, moving his hands to cover his crotch, Kyungsoo noted that they had claws instead of regular fingernails, “It’s… It’s…”

“It’s what?”

“You know…” Yifan looked down at the floor and Kyungsoo was almost certain that he was blushing.

“I don’t know.” Kyungsoo said, “It what?”

“It’s retractable,” Yifan sputtered out, “It goes in and out, you know?”

Kyungsoo raised his eyebrows, “Really,” he got up from the couch and tentatively approached Yifan. He crouched down in front of him and grabbed his hands, “Show me.”

“I can’t,” Yifan said, “it only comes out when I’m aroused.”  
   

Kyungsoo stood and put his hands on his hips, “Well this isn’t exactly a sexy situation,” he lamented.

“Not really,” Yifan agreed, “I kind of feel like a science experiment.”

Kyungsoo chuckled before holding his hand up, “Is it okay if I touch?”

Yifan nodded, “Go ahead.”

The first thing Kyungsoo touched were the horns. He had never touched anything like them before; they were hard and smooth, but they also had little ridges, “Cute.” Kyungsoo muttered under his breath.

“Am not,” Yifan pouted.

Kyungsoo chose to ignore him in favor of moving his hands all over his face, feeling the scales under his fingertips.

“They’re water resistant.” Yifan said with a smirk.

Kyungsoo hummed in response as he moved his hands away from Yifan’s face. He ran his thumb over the other’s lip; it felt like a normal lip, but it was impossibly smooth. Kyungsoo wondered how they would feel against his own.

“Wanna see my tail?”

“What?”

“My _tail_ ,” Yifan reiterated, as he brought his tail around and touched it to Kyungsoo’s arm.

The smaller man jumped with a yelp, “Holy shit!” He held his hand over his chest, “Don’t scare me like that.”

Yifan snickered, “Now look who’s cute.”

“Shut up,” Kyungsoo said, pinching Yifan’s side.

“So,” Yifan said, moving to sit on the couch, “What do you think?”

“Well,” Kyungsoo moved to sit beside him, “It’s not nearly as scary as I thought it would be considering what’s underneath all those scales a big dork.”

Yifan scoffed, “I am _not_ a dork.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Kyungsoo said, moving his hand to rest on Yifan’s stomach. He moved it around, enjoying the feeling of the scales underneath his hand.

“You know,” Yifan said, “With me being like this, it’s possible for us to have kids.”

Kyungsoo raised his eyebrows, “But aren’t you a guy?”

“Kinda,” Yifan put his hand over Kyungsoo’s, careful not to scratch him with his claws, “I’m a hermaphrodite, I have both parts.”

“Woah,” Kyungsoo looked up at Yifan, “How would that work?”

“Well,” Yifan said, “First we’d have sex, but it’d have to be at night. And you’d have to come inside me-”

“Why at night?”

“Because during the day only my male genitals are out. I still have both on the inside, but I can’t get pregnant if you come in my ass.”

“So right now you have a?”

“Yes,” Yifan moved their hands lower, “I can show you if you’d like.”

Kyungsoo thought about it for a moment, but decided against it, “Not right now, I don’t know if we’re ready for kids just yet.”

Yifan heaved a sigh of relief, “Good, I don’t know how well we’d be able to handle a baby right now.”

“But in the future?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Definitely,” Yifan said, “I think it’s be cute to have a bunch of mini Soos running around.”

“You’d make a great dad,” Kyungsoo said, resting his head against Yifan’s shoulder.

“I’d be the coolest dad.”

Kyungsoo hummed in agreement before changing the topic, “Hey, are you hungry.”

“A bit,” Yifan said.

“Want me to throw something together?”

“I’d like that,” Yifan said, “But when I’m like this I eat bugs.”

Kyungsoo guffawed, “Really?”

“Yeah,” Yifan raised a brow, “Is it that weird for a lizard man to eat bugs?”

“Not at all,” Kyungsoo answered, “It’s just that when I was little I thought you were going to eat me or something.” He stood from the couch and dragged Yifan up with him, “I wish you had told me about yourself back then.” He laughed, “Guess that explains why we’ve never had any bug problems.”

Yifan smiled as he followed Kyungsoo to the kitchen, “You’re welcome.”

“Guess I’ll just make grilled cheese for one then,” Kyungsoo said more to himself than Yifan as he began to rummage through the kitchen. As he was making the sandwich, he noticed an ant running across the table; he picked it up between his fingers. He walked over to Yifan who was staring at the counter, probably looking for something to eat, “Hey, I don’t know if you like ants-”

Yifan’s eyes lit up, “I _love_ ants.”

Kyungsoo held out his hand, “Will you accept mine?”

Yifan laughed, “What kind of question is that?”

“I dunno,” Kyungsoo shrugged, “I found an ant on the counter by my sandwich, and I thought you’d want to eat it. I’m not gonna eat it so...”

“I’ll eat your ant, Soo.” Yifan said.

“How does this work?”

Yifan shrugged, “I dunno, just put it in my mouth.”

Kyungsoo felt himself blush as he brought his hand to Yifan’s mouth. Yifan stuck his tongue out and licked the ant off of Kyungsoo’s finger. He cringed at the thought of eating an ant himself, but the smile Yifan gave him afterward made him think that they might not taste half bad.

Yifan looked over at the stove, “Hey Soo,”

“Yeah?”

“I think your sandwich might be burning.”

“Shit!” Kyungsoo ran over to the stove and turned the flame off. Grabbing the pan by the handle, he dumped the grilled cheese onto the cutting board. It was a bit black around the edges, but it hadn’t been rendered inedible. He slid it onto a plate, and he headed over to the counter and sat. Yifan slid into the stool next to him, on the lookout for ants as Kyungsoo ate his sandwich. Kyungsoo thought he looked really cute when he was focused like that, but he didn’t say anything for fear of distracting him.

Once he had finished his grilled cheese, Kyungsoo noticed that Yifan had hardly found anything to eat, “Hey,” Kyungsoo put his hand on Yifan’s shoulder, “Wanna go out in the backyard? There’s tons of bugs out there.”

“Are you sure? Won’t someone see?”

Kyungsoo shook his head, “There’s a big fence out there, no one would see us unless they actually climbed over the top.” He stood and put his plate in the sink, “Besides, I wanna go stargazing with my fiancé.”

Yifan smiled as he took Kyungsoo’s hand, “Then why are we still inside?”

“No clue,” Kyungsoo said he led them out the back door and into the yard. The grass hadn’t been mowed in quite some time, but neither of them seemed to mind. As a matter of fact, Yifan looked like a kid in a candy shop as he waded through the tall grass, picking at all kinds of bugs. Kyungsoo waited for him to finish eating before choosing a spot to lay down in. Looking up at the sky, he smiled when he felt Yifan lay beside him.

“Isn’t it uncomfortable with your tail and all?” Kyungsoo asked as he aimlessly started at the moon.

“Not really,” Yifan answered, “I don’t really feel that it’s there half the time.”

“I see.”

After that, neither of them said anything for a long time. Occasionally, Kyungsoo would silently point to a constellation that he wanted Yifan to notice, but other than that, the pair just layed in the grass, enjoying each other’s presence. It was as if they had both transported back to their childhood, the silence blanketing them both in nostalgia.

Kyungsoo eventually grew bored of looking at the stars and turned his attention to Yifan. He rolled on his side. Yifan soon did the same. They looked into each other's eyes for a moment before Kyungsoo spoke up, “I really want to kiss you right now.”

Yifan flashed him a gummy smile and scooted closer, “You don’t have to ask.”

Smiling, Kyungsoo moved his head and pressed their lips together in a chaste kiss. Yifan’s lips, albeit a bit slippery and tasting like bugs, felt like home. The monster under his bed had stolen his heart, and Kyungsoo wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> aaaahhhhh, I originally wanted to write a comedy but I ended up writing a super angsty thing instead. I hope there wasn't too much dialogue, I just liked writing Krisoo being domestic and kinda gross. Also Kris is kinda inspired by a horned lizard, I almost regret not putting in a scene where he shoots blood out of his eyes lol. I also kinda wanna write a sequel to this where they actually have a kid lol, but since Yifan is a lizard man it would be like megg instread of mpreg haha. Thank you for reading this to the end :)))
> 
> now that reveals are out imma put my twitter here feel free to stalk me or whatever lmao i'm not scary   
> https://twitter.com/Bananna527


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